TaySan
Banned
I'm ok. This week been kinda nuts though
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Mental Health |AT| GAF
- Thread starter Melon
- Start date
- Off-Topic Personality
SoggyBiscuit
Banned
You all good, bud?
TaySan
Banned
I'm doing okay. Just a lot of fighting on Era and staying in my house all day every day is starting to have an effect on me. I really wish i can go back to work again.
SoggyBiscuit
Banned
Sometimes a break from social media is a good thing. I'm not saying that because of it being Era, but breaking away from toxicity and hostility can only be a good thing. I left behind Facebook and Instagram and I've never looked back tbh. Was just making me feel insecure and bad about my life.
If you ever need to talk in private, hit up my DM's. I'm always happy to try and help or just listen!
I think everyone is feeling a bit anxious about being cooped up all the time. It's not a great situation but just know you're not alone in that feeling.
teezzy
Banned
I'd rather not get too personal, but want to vent. My mother, who is a bi-polar schizophrenic with dementia was recently kicked out of her group home due to being determined too difficult. Shes also in extremely rough shape due to her kidneys being destroyed by her former Lithium prescription.
I live alone, and took her in my house until i can find something more permanent once this covid 19 scare is through. It's been nightmarish though and I'm losing my temper over things like her pissing the bed in my guest room and refusing to shower after, her getting literal shit all over the bathroom, her odd insistence that her dirty laundry hamper remain in the kitchen for whatever odd reasoning.
I can only take so much and am not sure what my next step should be. Thankfully, I work from home, but my focus is completely shot and in between giving her medicine, cooking for her, cleaning after her, and putting The Brady Bunch or I Love Lucy for her on Hulu - my mental wherewithal is in the gutter.
It's all so fucked. I've reached out to a caseworker but I'm unsure of what can be done. Truthfully, I need her the fuck out of my house. I'm 29, but she has me feeling like an angsty teen again. Lord help me.
Get off Era. That place will warp you with so many unnecessary drama that doesnt actually affect you. Every little thing is the end of the world if you succumb to their narrative.
I live alone, and took her in my house until i can find something more permanent once this covid 19 scare is through. It's been nightmarish though and I'm losing my temper over things like her pissing the bed in my guest room and refusing to shower after, her getting literal shit all over the bathroom, her odd insistence that her dirty laundry hamper remain in the kitchen for whatever odd reasoning.
I can only take so much and am not sure what my next step should be. Thankfully, I work from home, but my focus is completely shot and in between giving her medicine, cooking for her, cleaning after her, and putting The Brady Bunch or I Love Lucy for her on Hulu - my mental wherewithal is in the gutter.
It's all so fucked. I've reached out to a caseworker but I'm unsure of what can be done. Truthfully, I need her the fuck out of my house. I'm 29, but she has me feeling like an angsty teen again. Lord help me.
Get off Era. That place will warp you with so many unnecessary drama that doesnt actually affect you. Every little thing is the end of the world if you succumb to their narrative.
teezzy
Banned
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Tesseract
Banned
Meh I could stand to lose a solid 10 to 15.
Thanks duder
good time as any, hope your mother is well enough (as can be expected)
godspeed
DragoonKain
Neighbours from Hell
Hope everyone is feeling well and is in a good mental space during these tough times 
Darkmakaimura
Member
All right. I'm going to use this to bitch and moan and then go back to hiatus.
Life fucking sucks right now.
I've been up all night and it's almost 5am due to allergies (hopefully not something else) to the point I can barely breathe.
To add insult to injury I'm broke of course and I still haven't reveived my stimulus money so chances are I won't be getting it. Yes I did the 'non filier' thing two weeks ago on TurboTax. I've been very anxious every night hoping it would come through sometime soon after midnight but still nothing and I'm angry and frustrated. I need it more than ever now for toiletries, clothes, medicine like Benadryl and saline spray, etc. And yes for fun stuff too because I'm going crazy.
But now my dad's dog still has blood in her urine and neither of us can afford a vet right now either. She's healthy otherwise but still.
Oh and the scooter I used for going to the store has a dead battery now.
Just a bunch of shit luck. I'm going crazy having nothing to do and nowhere to go but worst no fucking money and little hope of seeing any from the stimulus. Literally want to smash my phone or just end up in the hospital. I'd be better off with Covid-19 and being in a hospital right now.
Sorry. I'm whining but I'm just fed up. If it's any consolation I'm going back into hiatus. And that's it.
Life fucking sucks right now.
I've been up all night and it's almost 5am due to allergies (hopefully not something else) to the point I can barely breathe.
To add insult to injury I'm broke of course and I still haven't reveived my stimulus money so chances are I won't be getting it. Yes I did the 'non filier' thing two weeks ago on TurboTax. I've been very anxious every night hoping it would come through sometime soon after midnight but still nothing and I'm angry and frustrated. I need it more than ever now for toiletries, clothes, medicine like Benadryl and saline spray, etc. And yes for fun stuff too because I'm going crazy.
But now my dad's dog still has blood in her urine and neither of us can afford a vet right now either. She's healthy otherwise but still.
Oh and the scooter I used for going to the store has a dead battery now.
Just a bunch of shit luck. I'm going crazy having nothing to do and nowhere to go but worst no fucking money and little hope of seeing any from the stimulus. Literally want to smash my phone or just end up in the hospital. I'd be better off with Covid-19 and being in a hospital right now.
Sorry. I'm whining but I'm just fed up. If it's any consolation I'm going back into hiatus. And that's it.
Darkmakaimura
Member
Still nothing from the IRS and my allergies have kept me up for three nights now due to congestion and not being able to breathe and I'm dried out financially.
Fucking IRS is taking far too long. I don't when to expect IF I even get anything because there's nobody to talk to and checking on the site always comes up negative.
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Melon
Banned
Hello, lovelies. I just wanna apologize for my lack of activity in this thread/community. I feel like a negligent mother . I hope you are all doing okay and if you aren't, just know that it is OK to not be okay. We're all here for each other like the ragtag family we are.
I love you all.
. I hope you are all doing okay and if you aren't, just know that it is OK to not be okay. We're all here for each other like the ragtag family we are.I love you all.
TaySan
Banned
Apology accepted!Hello, lovelies. I just wanna apologize for my lack of activity in this thread/community. I feel like a negligent mother
I love you all.
Darkmakaimura
Member
death of someone i should have been there for is hitting me hard right now
rip dude, i'll carry the torch and see you on the other side
Aw shit, sorry.
Hopefully you're not blaming yourself though. You're good peeps and one of my fave peeps here so be safe.
And my condolences to your friend's family and loved ones.
Darkmakaimura
Member
I'm not lmao.Hello, lovelies. I just wanna apologize for my lack of activity in this thread/community. I feel like a negligent mother
I love you all.
But if a miracle happens, aka I get stimulus payment, I'll be in very good mood.
Darkmakaimura
Member
Well, as if things could not get worse, I just realised I fucked up royally and let an account I had with quite a few followers permanently deleted. I just intended to keep deactivated awhile but it's past the 30 days and gone for good.
Ccombined with everything going to shit in my personal life, this had to happen because I'm fucking retarded.
Ccombined with everything going to shit in my personal life, this had to happen because I'm fucking retarded.
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DragoonKain
Neighbours from Hell
Is there a specific reason you deactivated it instead of just not going on it? Was it just a general preference or were you getting harassed on there or something?
Darkmakaimura
Member
Number of reasons but I always reactivated before the 30 days was up and then deactivated again. I wanted to keep the account in case I wanted to come back.
Major fuck up.
Nothing going right in my life even when I try and all the shit going on around the world just making things worse.
DragoonKain
Neighbours from Hell
That sucks man, sorry that happened. Best I can say is try not to sweat the small stuff. Small stuff meaning not life and death stuff. When times are tough and we get frustrated we tend to let it snowball and start feeling like everything is going wrong, when often a lot of it are day to day things that happen to us that suck, it’s just they stand out more because they’re happening at a shitty time and it almost feels like some unseen entity is out there trying to get you.
But if you focus on the things you do have and are grateful for in your life right now, maybe that’ll help transition your current mindset a little bit to feel better.
belmarduk
Member
Welp good news for me today.
You definitely need to. The Mendenhall glacier outside Juneau is a bright blue color. Its absolutely beautiful. Hope you have a great time.
Darkmakaimura
Member
So I'm probably going to regret it, but I started up a new Twitter account and am tweeting again after a 6 month hiatus.
On one hand I miss certain people and I'm pretty lonely. On the other, I'm once again knee deep in that cesspool of crazy leftists (and insane far-righters) and worried about drama and former "friends" who turned their backs on me after a nervous breakdown.
Not to mention it's a weekday and still zero stimulus money and I've been riding on four dollars for about a week now.
I also haven't slept, even just for six hours, in about four or fuve days straight. I'm dizzy and fatigued and congested. My taste is dulled so everything tastes bland.
I'm still hoping for that stimulus miracle because at least for the next month or two it'll solve almost all my problems.
On one hand I miss certain people and I'm pretty lonely. On the other, I'm once again knee deep in that cesspool of crazy leftists (and insane far-righters) and worried about drama and former "friends" who turned their backs on me after a nervous breakdown.
Not to mention it's a weekday and still zero stimulus money and I've been riding on four dollars for about a week now.
I also haven't slept, even just for six hours, in about four or fuve days straight. I'm dizzy and fatigued and congested. My taste is dulled so everything tastes bland.
I'm still hoping for that stimulus miracle because at least for the next month or two it'll solve almost all my problems.
Darkmakaimura
Member
In regards to the post above if there's any cool peeps here who find me mildly entertaining, PM with your Twitter handle and follow me back.
Jill Valentine
Member
This is a good watch. Just because of how well she expresses it and appears normal at times, even smiles.
Shifty1897
Member
Hope everyone is feeling better today. I finally got in to talk to a doctor about a week ago and they put me on anxiety meds, but told me they'd take about four weeks to take effect. I've actually felt a little better most days this week since then except for today, not sure what happened, today just seems harder to deal with for some reason.
I'm currently blowing off work and laying on the couch. Trying to find the motivation to get back on and wrap up what I need to do.
I'm currently blowing off work and laying on the couch. Trying to find the motivation to get back on and wrap up what I need to do.
Kev Kev
Member
my depression and anxiety is at an all time low thanks to almost being done with school and starting smoking bud again
I feel home for the first time in years
Now working on getting my medical marijuana card, and I’m using my stimulus check to get some dental work taken care of, maybe start going to some therapy sessions once a month and maybe have a bit left over to buy a new guitar
after 8 long years of self loathing, despair, drinking, drugging and bridge burning, things are really starting to look up.
took long enough
To anyone else out there still going through it, keep going, great rewards await on the other side of all this bullshit, you just have to keep going
I feel home for the first time in years
Now working on getting my medical marijuana card, and I’m using my stimulus check to get some dental work taken care of, maybe start going to some therapy sessions once a month and maybe have a bit left over to buy a new guitar
after 8 long years of self loathing, despair, drinking, drugging and bridge burning, things are really starting to look up.
took long enough
To anyone else out there still going through it, keep going, great rewards await on the other side of all this bullshit, you just have to keep going
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SoggyBiscuit
Banned
In some good news I've finally kicked my smoking habit. Feeling proud of myself, but only early days just yet.
Tesseract
Banned
somafm is good times, drone zone is the place to be
Jill Valentine
Member
somafm is good times, drone zone is the place to be
I like it. I've tried running a bunch of those Youtube videos with "soothing" sounds in the background but I get bored after an hour or so. Seems like a nice variety they have there.
If I had to guess, the brain looks for patterns and turns off when it recognizes previously established ones. With ambience music your brain constantly can't find the pattern, so it realizes there's something there to solve and pays attention constantly as a result but can never quite solve it. Typical music is predictable, but something like rain is not.
Source: My ass
TindalosPup
Member
I've been lurking in this thread a while, I'm open about a lot, but mental health is usually something I only speak about with people I'm really close to or to give perspective to someone I'm trying to help (I hope to prevent people taking their life because I've attempted before, and I found it was a permanent solution to a temporary problem). Circumstances have made it pretty hard to communicate with anyone lately and it's been rough, so I figured I'd join the discussion here. I've been diagnosed with depression, along with PTSD from a childhood trauma, and possibly (I'm still in the process of seeking help for it, my doctor prefers the screening happen in person) Attention Deficit Disorder
Honestly, just typing that out has made me feel a bit better, like the pressure of bottling it up was released. I'm quite thankful for this community, mostly for other's here, not just myself, it does do good to talk about things (it doesn't replace professional help, but it still helps)
I wish you all well and hope everyone here can find something to make their day brighter and more enjoyable
I've been having a rough go, I have a lot going on, and yet nothing going on at the same time. I've been cut off from someone I care deeply for, for reasons I can't really get into, which is all I can seem to think about because I miss them a lot and they are a huge part of my life. My home/family life is in a dire situation both financially and emotionally (my parents are separated but still living together with my two younger brothers and myself), to top it off my older brother (struggling with his own mental health) is staying with us until further notice. He "left" his incredibly abusive wife and came here to "start over" after he was physically attacked by her and their junkie roommates (it's been happening over and over for a while). It would be fine, but he just comes here, gets shit faced, and bullies everyone in the house, even our mother, then leaves to go back to her. The person I usually go to for support happens to be the one I was cut off from, so I'm thankful here exists right now
Honestly, just typing that out has made me feel a bit better, like the pressure of bottling it up was released. I'm quite thankful for this community, mostly for other's here, not just myself, it does do good to talk about things (it doesn't replace professional help, but it still helps)
I wish you all well and hope everyone here can find something to make their day brighter and more enjoyable
Darkmakaimura
Member
Man, Twitter just fucking blows.
One main reason I returned was because of how lonely I've been.
I lost over 2500 followers because I forgot to reactivate.
Under my new account, I was able to get up to 110 followers as of today but whenever I tweet anything, it just gets ignored.
It feels like shit.
And lots of even former mutuals don't even follow back despite letting them know who I was.
I haven't even drank in like 2 months and I'm considering starting again. I get sick when I drink but I'm at a point I almost don't give a shit.
One main reason I returned was because of how lonely I've been.
I lost over 2500 followers because I forgot to reactivate.
Under my new account, I was able to get up to 110 followers as of today but whenever I tweet anything, it just gets ignored.
It feels like shit.
And lots of even former mutuals don't even follow back despite letting them know who I was.
I haven't even drank in like 2 months and I'm considering starting again. I get sick when I drink but I'm at a point I almost don't give a shit.
You don’t want to be dependent on constant external validation. Work on self-improvement and self-fulfillment rather than working on how to please or get the attention of others. Do the former and the latter will come on its own.
Darkmakaimura
Member
We're social creatures.
I don't think it's wrong to want some attention or company and it just feels really shitty being ignored.
Social media isn't genuinely social. One good friend IRL is worth more than a million Twitter followers in terms of fulfilling social needs.
Darkmakaimura
Member
The one good friend isn't available currently and I think he might actually be upset with me.
Even Facebook my IRL friends are ignoring me.
I mean, yes you're correct about social media. I made it a thing I don't even want to make friends on SM because people will turn on you for any small thing. It's one of the reasons I originally left.
I feel most on Twitter and other SM platforms are just very arrogant. It's like people are not good enough.
Anyways that's what it is. I just want to shit post and make people laugh mostly. Is it self validation? Sure ok whatever anybody wants to call it but it's just having some kind of social interaction.
Evil Calvin
Member
I know I am much older than you. I don't have kids, but am married. I always ask 'what is the purpose?'. I decided that other than to pop out kids for no reason, one should really just try to make a living, try to do things that interest you, do new things. I guess, don't look into it too much. I decided, since I don't have kids, I want to try to save money and travel. Nothing fancy. Roadtrips across the US., some hikes, biking etc....I figure to try to keep my house nice and try to have some fun. I don't think we really 'serve any purpose' except to just make the best of the time we all have and try to be positive, have fun and I guess leave this world (hopefully MANY decades from now) in better shape than when we came into it.
Darkmakaimura
Member
IRL best friend has been ignoring me for some reason.
My only guess is because I haven't hung out with him the last couple of times.
It's bothering me becauss he's pretty much my only friend I hang out with left in this city and even online I don't have many friends left.
My only guess is because I haven't hung out with him the last couple of times.
It's bothering me becauss he's pretty much my only friend I hang out with left in this city and even online I don't have many friends left.
LegendOfKage
Member
I wrote this a while back, but it might be of interest to you, so I'm posting it again.
I actually had an idea about this that I never tried, but I think it might work. If you just randomly exchange gaming info over a message board or discord, it's pretty unpredictable who you're going to be adding to your friends list. Maybe you'll share a similar sense of humor or some other interests, or maybe aside from games you won't have much in common. Maybe they're the kind of player who shit talks and teabags, and maybe you're not.
My idea is to go on twitch and find a streamer who is just getting started, or only streams now and then for the fun of it. No one even slightly successful. Find someone who uses a mic, is playing a game that you have (and a version you have, either PC or a specific console), and isn't playing in a full party. Then join their twitch chat, watch them play, and get to know them for a while. See how they interact with their chat, with their friends, and with players on the opposing team. Then if they seem like someone you would get along with, ask if they wouldn't mind you joining them for a bit.
This would probably work best in team-based games when the streamer is playing alone, or when just one or two of their friends are playing, and when they only have a small number of people in their twitch chat. Most players would rather have someone they can communicate with on their team instead of random people, and the streamer will just be happy someone's taking an interest.
A friend of mine started streaming a year or two ago, and when you're new and trying to build an audience, anyone wanting to chat or join you in a game is good news. If you were a newer twitch streamer playing Battlefield with your friend online in a five man squad, would you rather the other three players be randoms not using a mic, or three of the seven people currently in your twitch chat? If you're not a fan of competitive multiplayer, maybe try a co-op streamer instead. Destiny, Borderlands, Monster Hunter, Warframe, etc.
If it works out, I would think it would be a lot better than twitter.
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Darkmakaimura
Member
About two minutes after I wrote this my friend texted me. I guess he's just been on a serious drinking binge.
Frogman_676
Member
i'm a bad, bad man. that is all.
ValiantTraveler
Member
I know you said your friend texted you, but the next time you don’t message each other for a while (hopefully it won’t happen), how about you tell him that you haven’t talked in a while and ask if everything is okay.
I say this because I’ve had instances in the past where both me and the other person are reluctant to re-initiate contact. We’re like waiting for each other to step forward and try to reconnect, which results in a longer period of time where we’re not talking to each other, which in turn makes future conversations even more awkward. So it’s better to be upfront about it imo, even if it’s embarrassing or risky.
I try to take it upon myself to keep nurturing friendships, without waiting for the other person to do so. Sometimes a friend doesn’t talk to you because they fear it’ll be awkward, so when you reach out first, they lower their guard. They might fear being asked why they’re keeping silent so be sure to tell them it’s okay. Or maybe they are holding a grudge for some reason, that is a possibility to consider too, in which case an honest talk might solve it.
About Twitter, you should curate your feed ruthlessly to cut out all the nonsense you’re better off without. And make sure not to get into arguments, they’re a waste of time. Personally I follow a lot of fanart and meme accounts, plus some folks who have interesting things to say. Lastly, can you PM me your handle?
Kev Kev
Member
anxiety people... how do you deal with that feeling of freaking out on the inside?
sometimes they are little fits that last for the morning, or just at night, other times it feels like it goes on for days. i try to take deep breaths, listen to comedy podcasts, take a shower/bath, watch some cartoons or something light that isnt really serious/dramatic... those are usually my go tos. as i said earlier in the topic im getting my medical marijuana card (tomorrow i think!) and that helps a lot, but it isnt always the answer. and sometimes i have to couple those activities with marijuana.
was just wondering if you guys had any go to things you do to help take your mind off of it or relax. maybe i could try them out
sometimes they are little fits that last for the morning, or just at night, other times it feels like it goes on for days. i try to take deep breaths, listen to comedy podcasts, take a shower/bath, watch some cartoons or something light that isnt really serious/dramatic... those are usually my go tos. as i said earlier in the topic im getting my medical marijuana card (tomorrow i think!) and that helps a lot, but it isnt always the answer. and sometimes i have to couple those activities with marijuana.
was just wondering if you guys had any go to things you do to help take your mind off of it or relax. maybe i could try them out
Tesseract
Banned
hey bro, good to see you around
i exercise a lot, put cool shit on youtube and hit the elliptical or calisthenics
do the other things you say, breathing and meditation, podcasts, documentaries, hot showers to ease the mind
big thing for me is just quieting my imagination, collapsing all events and tuning out with some nice marijuana and music (ambient drone is my soma)
walks help, anything that puts you in nature
post a good ambient drone track
welcome savages to a thread of reclamation and relaxation, stay awhile and listen
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DragoonKain
Neighbours from Hell
Depends on what's causing the anxiety. If it's just a chronic kind of severe anxiety you get for no apparent reason because your brain is being a SOB, then other people could speak to that better than I could, I don't deal with chronic crippling anxiety, that's a legit medical/psychological condition that I don't have much knowledge of. If it's anxiety caused by something in your life that you can take care of in some way... then I think tackling what's bothering you will be more effective than tackling the anxiety itself. For example if you have a bunch of work assignments piling up or a bunch of chores you have to do around the house, and thinking about it is giving you anxiety, then go fucking attack those things and get them off your mind. Small victories like doing tasks to get shit to stop weighing on your mind can have more positive impact on anxiety than you'd think.
But in general I think the best way to fight anxiety is to feel better about yourself, and to do that, few things make you feel better on the inside than getting shit done. It can literally be anything. Finishing a video game you wanted to finish, asking a girl out you've been wanting to ask out for years, finishing building that bureau that's sitting in the corner of the room that you didn't finish building, cleaning your house when you haven't cleaned it in weeks, going for a run, lifting weights. Just a general feeling of being productive I think is the best treatment for anxiety... because it lasts.
Relaxing and watching comedy or listening to podcasts can all help too, but I think they're more band-aid fixes, when being productive lasts a lot longer because you feel like you're accomplishing things and bettering yourself overall, and it makes you thirsty to do other things to continue those feelings. Once you get in the swing of being productive it's hard to stop. Starting is the hardest part. I remember when I used to be a hardcore runner, when I finally got off my ass and started, I'd set goals for myself and when I reached them I wanted to keep tacking on another mile and then another mile just because I felt so good in the moment accomplishing that initial task. At the end of the day if nothing else you can look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and feel like you didn't waste the day you got something done. That's just something sitting around and relaxing can't ever give you, because once that feeling wears off you can still feel like you were a lazy bastard and didn't do anything and quiet time can also cause you to get inside your own head and overthink things. Staying busy and productive also keeps your mind focus so it doesn't dwell on shit.
TL;DR: be generally productive and accomplish a lot of goals and tasks no matter how small.
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