Before I begin, I’m not trying to attack you in any way, I’m just trying to bring awareness to these types of situations. This will be a long read, so, whether you take the time or not…hopefully, someone will.
Let’s assume she’s telling the truth. I don’t think her story is genuine, which she then is a piece of shit for using abuse as her plot, but, for the sake of this learning experience, let’s say it’s truthful.
I get that people “on the outside” have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be the victim of abuse of any kind. Just because you don’t get punched and kicked everyday doesn’t make any other abuse “easier”. As someone who went through it…mental abuse is high on the damage scale. You are made to believe you’re worthless, no one will ever love you, you’re not good enough, you’ll never be good enough, you’ll never be able to live without them, they’re the only person who will ever “care” about you, etc. To you, it might be as simple as “just leave”. To an abused person, the behaviour becomes “part of the routine”, you feel trapped, you believe the bullshit fed to you on a daily basis. Do you honestly sit there and think people LIKE being abused??? Of course “just get up and leave” is the obvious answer other people will give, but, until those people are put in that situation…you really have absolutely no idea what it’s like to live through it. Absolutely zero. That shit is extremely damaging and if you do finally get a way out….I’m lucky enough to have a great friend who helped me…..it takes years to build yourself back up, feel confident, love yourself, realize you’re worth something, and to trust other people.
I told almost no one, including not telling my family. They found out a few things after, but, during….I told my friend. I told her because she had an abusive husband for 17 years who was physically violent with her and made her afraid to leave. She finally got away from him. I knew she would understand because she’s dealt with the same ignorant people in her life who simply said “just get out” so I knew she wasn’t going to judge me for not running away. “Leave” is just a ridiculous statement, like people regularly abused love what’s happening to them.
I hope you never in your life have to experience it in order to understand it. I don’t expect you to even understand it after reading this. Just know that those kinds of comments are sad and show even more how ignorant people are who have never been in an abusive situation. “I don't feel sorry for her. She's had all the opportunity in the world to get out of there, yet she stays.”, I mean, just imagine having that opinion.