I'm posting this here because it is the most anonymous place that I go to online. *shrug*
So, my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now. I've never "done" anything with him (or any other guy), but recently I started dropping him hints. We're both kind of conservative and I was planning to do something special for his birthday. Maybe not sex, but heavy petting or something, and I wanted him to know about it. I'm sure you're all thinking I'm the biggest prude in existence right about now and that it is going to haunt me in comments throughout the course of this thread, but whatever; this is the situation.
Anyways, so the other day I showed him my Victoria's Secret catalogue and pointed out to him that they are selling thongs for $10/ea and sets of three for $20. I asked him, "Why don't you buy me a thong? ______'s boyfriend buys her stuff like this all the time." The reaction that I got was far from what I expected and goes to show that I know NOTHING about guys: "Why do you want me to buy you something... and why are you comparing me to ______'s boyfriend?" I felt kind of sad and embarassed for bringing it up, but then he said: "I don't have money for this."
I just thought, WTF? How much is $10 to spend on your girlfriend? That's probably less than a pizza. I was pretty upset by this, so I asked him: "Am I really not worth ten dollars? Come on, now." Then he got a little bit upset: "$10 might be nothing to you because of your daddy, but to people like me, that's real money. I have school and other things to be putting my money towards. What, do you expect me to buy you a bouquet of flowers every day too? If anything, you should be the one offering to buy me books. Blah blah blah."
Of course, he apologized to me later on for the comments he made about my dad, but WTF? I still can't believe $10 isn't worth spending on me. I know that it isn't right to compare my relationship to others and formulate expectations around them either, but I do expect to be BOUGHT something now and then, just to know I'm cared or being thought about. I wasn't even really asking for something for myself, but more along the lines of something for "us" -- from my perspective, at least. Also, he's never ONCE bought me anything, despite the fact that I've already bought gifts for his birthday. Most if not all of my money goes to pay for my dad's medication too, since I'm the one always having to pick it up and my dad no longer has insurance.
Am I just being superficial/selfish? I can't help feeling that this is beyond stingy. Maybe I'm spoiled, but IMO, $10 isn't very much to spending on somebody you care about. I know I've spent more on him, that's for sure.
So, my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now. I've never "done" anything with him (or any other guy), but recently I started dropping him hints. We're both kind of conservative and I was planning to do something special for his birthday. Maybe not sex, but heavy petting or something, and I wanted him to know about it. I'm sure you're all thinking I'm the biggest prude in existence right about now and that it is going to haunt me in comments throughout the course of this thread, but whatever; this is the situation.
Anyways, so the other day I showed him my Victoria's Secret catalogue and pointed out to him that they are selling thongs for $10/ea and sets of three for $20. I asked him, "Why don't you buy me a thong? ______'s boyfriend buys her stuff like this all the time." The reaction that I got was far from what I expected and goes to show that I know NOTHING about guys: "Why do you want me to buy you something... and why are you comparing me to ______'s boyfriend?" I felt kind of sad and embarassed for bringing it up, but then he said: "I don't have money for this."
I just thought, WTF? How much is $10 to spend on your girlfriend? That's probably less than a pizza. I was pretty upset by this, so I asked him: "Am I really not worth ten dollars? Come on, now." Then he got a little bit upset: "$10 might be nothing to you because of your daddy, but to people like me, that's real money. I have school and other things to be putting my money towards. What, do you expect me to buy you a bouquet of flowers every day too? If anything, you should be the one offering to buy me books. Blah blah blah."
Of course, he apologized to me later on for the comments he made about my dad, but WTF? I still can't believe $10 isn't worth spending on me. I know that it isn't right to compare my relationship to others and formulate expectations around them either, but I do expect to be BOUGHT something now and then, just to know I'm cared or being thought about. I wasn't even really asking for something for myself, but more along the lines of something for "us" -- from my perspective, at least. Also, he's never ONCE bought me anything, despite the fact that I've already bought gifts for his birthday. Most if not all of my money goes to pay for my dad's medication too, since I'm the one always having to pick it up and my dad no longer has insurance.
Am I just being superficial/selfish? I can't help feeling that this is beyond stingy. Maybe I'm spoiled, but IMO, $10 isn't very much to spending on somebody you care about. I know I've spent more on him, that's for sure.
