Before I became a father, I was a bit nihilistic, or at least heading that way.
After I became a father, I'm still a bit nihilistic, and exhausted as well
Half-kidding aside, my son helped focus me and, as cliché as it sounds, gave me purpose. Being a father also helped me appreciate and respect all those single parents that goddamn raised their kid(s) well on their own, and never gave up. Kudos and mad respect. My wife and I are wrecked everyday, and that's both of us with caring for just the one kid (fourteen months old). We're still kinda shell-shocked that we're actually parents to this little guy that's already developing some sass.
For the past month and a half, we've had to take him to the hospital on three seperate occasions for bronchiolitis, where he had to stay for 1-2 nights each visit. And that's on top of all the check-ups, the doctor visits for every little or not so little thing, the uncertainty, the anxiety of whether he's hitting those milestones, the expenses, the broken sleep; it's entirely life consuming. But when he reaches up for a cuddle, or leans over to plant a gross wet kiss on my cheek ... I guess it's all worth it. </sop>
Anyway OP, all the best to you.