poodaddy
Member
!!!! Bro!! Does that mean what I think it means?!?! You a soon to be Daddy?!?! Congratulations if so bro!!! I'm pumped for you if that's the case!!
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How did you find your purpose in life?
- Thread starter German Hops
- Start date
German Hops
Member
nah, I was joking lol
poodaddy
Member
Ah, I was so excited for you haha. My best friend finally has a kid on the way and he's pumped, so it's on my mind. He's wanted a kid forever, lost two to miscarriages previously and it really fucked with his mind. He's beyond excited, so I thought maybe you were gonna join us in the prospective Daddy dance around the fire lol.nah, I was joking lol
Ozzy Onya A2Z
Member
Travel, family/friends, sport (soccer and tennis), my own company for the first half of my life. I'm also naturally very curious about everything, learn for the pure joy of discovery, then share it around.
Have two kids for the second stage of life, that will make or break your life's purpose. Everything else is a means to time with them and living through them. There is so much out there for them to enegage and explore. Wifey and I simply drive as much as we can for them while enjoying as much as we are a part of.
Good times, great company and always help people, especially when it is difficult.
Have two kids for the second stage of life, that will make or break your life's purpose. Everything else is a means to time with them and living through them. There is so much out there for them to enegage and explore. Wifey and I simply drive as much as we can for them while enjoying as much as we are a part of.
Good times, great company and always help people, especially when it is difficult.
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John Bilbo
Member
Don't stress too much about happiness. It will come and go in fleeting moments, days, weeks, months or years. But it will come and it will go.
Take as much time as you need to see if there is something bothering you about your past or present.
See if you can figure a way out to start negotiating with yourself for the smallest step possible to fix or address one part of a thing bothering you about your past or present.
If you have found a way to negotiate with yourself it is a lot easier to take action.
When you take action make a mental note to yourself about it. You did good. You deserve praise.
Learn to reward yourself accordingly. Not too much, not too little. Negotiate the reward with yourself so you stay motivated to keep on working on yourself.
Now take note if the task you set for yourself was too easy or too hard or did it require surpassable amount of effort. Take that into account as you plan the fixing the next thing about your life.
This is the first step towards finding a meaning in life and even that first step is good to divide into smaller ones.
Nothing worthwhile in life comes easy, but every step you willingly take towards fixing the problems in your life will reward you with a meaningful path forward.
Oh and also watch my movie Puss in Boots 2
- Jiminy Cricket
Take as much time as you need to see if there is something bothering you about your past or present.
See if you can figure a way out to start negotiating with yourself for the smallest step possible to fix or address one part of a thing bothering you about your past or present.
If you have found a way to negotiate with yourself it is a lot easier to take action.
When you take action make a mental note to yourself about it. You did good. You deserve praise.
Learn to reward yourself accordingly. Not too much, not too little. Negotiate the reward with yourself so you stay motivated to keep on working on yourself.
Now take note if the task you set for yourself was too easy or too hard or did it require surpassable amount of effort. Take that into account as you plan the fixing the next thing about your life.
This is the first step towards finding a meaning in life and even that first step is good to divide into smaller ones.
Nothing worthwhile in life comes easy, but every step you willingly take towards fixing the problems in your life will reward you with a meaningful path forward.
Oh and also watch my movie Puss in Boots 2
- Jiminy Cricket
22•22
Doesnt need recognition
Well I'm almost twice your age but your confliction still resonates with me.
Some know their purpose when their 14. Others at 50.
It comes when it comes.
Without going into shit like severe psychological issues or from which reality paradigm you're operating from, my advice would be ...
Nah no advice.
I could say something like look within yourself and see what character traits you inherently have resonates with a particular field of study/work.
Not going into reincarnation and therefore approaching your souls purpose in that way.
Great question. It's been bothering me since I was born.
JCK75
Member
In 1993 I was kicked out of school permanently because The girl I was dating at the times ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me and for some reason it was me they were worried about... When I got to the school board meeting they asked me what I wanted to do my life and I said it was going to be something with computers or music. They laughed at me and the superintendent of the public schools made a statement that I have unrealistic expectations of being some kind of computer person or rock star.
Now most of those people are retired but there are still a few that were in that room that day that I get to remind of that speech every time they call me to come fix their computer.
I'm not sure if that's really meaning but it sure was me finding some satisfaction in my life.
Now most of those people are retired but there are still a few that were in that room that day that I get to remind of that speech every time they call me to come fix their computer.
I'm not sure if that's really meaning but it sure was me finding some satisfaction in my life.
Fools idol
Member
While I fully agree with you, dangerous post.
Plenty of people out there feel lost and think having children will automatically give them purpose, but in reality the challenges they bring can often break people who are close to the brink. Depression and mental illness are not an ideal mix with newborns especially. I personally made sure I dealt with my demons for a few years before we took the plunge and I'm glad I did.
It's true what they say, that with your kids, you relive your own childhood. That for many can be a blessing or a curse, so be prepared for it!
Thaedolus
Member
Kids have probably kept me centered more than anything. Sure they’re a pain in the ass but I gotta stick around and support them, which means taking care of myself and not quitting my job when it gets hard, etc. it’s not always easy and I’m not perfect, but I’d be lying if I said there isn’t motivation to keep going for their sake too.
Redneckerz
Those long posts don't cover that red neck boy
For me, i used to be heavily into cars and computers but i also enjoyed watching medical shows. When i visited a event day on a mechanics course, i knew it wasn't for me. So i settled for computers.
When i graduated, i spent years on applying to jobs. The benefit of all these rejections is that over time you become really good at recognizing bullshit.
I am now a month away from a 3 year spell at my current job. I was rejected initially, but the owner ended up approaching me once more, 2 months (!) after initial rejection. He remembered and called to see if i was still available.
Of years of applying, he was the only one who even remotely did such a thing.
Today i am working as a technical engineer at a hospital, combining two of my 3 loves - Computers, and the medical world - al together.
As for the purpose of living, i tend to do (and act) differently than what the majority sets out to do. If i feel hurt, i may just disappear from the scene. Working where i work now puts the empathtic side of me into gears. A lot of seemingly normal things are now rather odd. Like holding doors. Like cleaning your mess. Like being altruistic.
Its strange that basic acts of kindness are seen as extraordinary. I don't think they are extraordinary: I think doing that is what makes you a human being.
For me it was the mechanics course. But though i may have succeeded in work, the age old tribes of yesterday still aren't achieved - Finding love, raising a family, etc.
Sometimes i feel like i may just not be cut out for that. But instead of making it miserable, i try to accept it. Some people just aren't mean't to take that road, even if they feel they should.
It all sounds depressing i am aware. And sometimes it is hard. But eventually, ill just go my own way. I was never a guy to follow standards - Made up fairytales that the majority seemed to apply to and would belittle you if you didn't follow along. Sorry. I keep my own mind and opinion.
You should too. Whatever is your interest - pursue it. You will regret it if you never attempt to succeed at pursuing it.
Work everyday to eradicate negative feelings like hatred, anger, jealousy from your life and you will most likely start realizing the purpose is not about finding something in particular but the purpose is simply in "being". I know it sounds cliche as hell but it is a really great and peaceful way to contentment.
I know it sounds cliche as hell but it is a really great and peaceful way to contentment.
Rockondevil
Member
I'm just another drop in the bucket and I enjoy that. I make enough to buy what I need and I enjoy time with my family and my hobbies.
That's enough for me.
That's enough for me.
anthony2690
Member
I made a neogaf account 
Nobody_Important
“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
I found out that money made up for the fact I hate my job.
Been smooth sailing mentally ever since.
Been smooth sailing mentally ever since.
Laieon
Member
I had the opposite experience. I had pretty close to what I considered my dream job (I always wanted to be an artist and went to college and then worked (fairly briefly) as a graphic designer) and realized I absolutely hated doing that as a career - nothing kills creativity more than being forced to work on something you're not all that passionate about, I needed it to be strictly a hobby. I ended up quitting, switching to teaching, which I like (but don't love) and I'm far happier. I plan on switching to curriculum design within the next year or two because it's the best of both worlds though.
Funny enough, my great grandpa and mom were also both teachers (she retired last year), so I guess it runs in the blood...
MaestroMike
Member
to work hard, eat healthy, be polite/kind. You wanna give off a good impression to the rookies and give something to them that they can emulate and have success with that’s about it eventually we get old and have to pass the baton to the next generation you wanna make sure they’re prepared and give them time to develop into badas$es that can take the reins after the veterans ride off into the sunset
Shifty1897
Member
That's a question with no right or wrong answer. During my twenties and early thirties I basically just partied and worked a lot. I basically worked hard enough to make sure I was better than all my peers, and the rest of the time I spent goofing off or getting hammered with my friends. Doing this felt fulfilling, I kept getting promoted at work, and I still got to have fun with my friends. But as time went on, I kind of hit a ceiling at work, any positions I would be able to take were held by people intent on retiring there, and I would just have to wait 10 years to move up. Meanwhile, my friends started getting married and having kids, and were less available to hang out. Holidays and weekends got lonelier, hangovers got more severe.
At that point I realized that maybe it was time to start the next chapter of my life. I started working out and dating to find someone to marry. After I got married we moved across the country for job opportunities and I started grinding at work again. Then we had a kid and all of my other priorities flew out the window. Kids have that effect on people.
These days I just want to raise my kid to be kind to others and responsible enough to take care of himself when he becomes an adult. I want to go on a nice vacations with my wife and make her feel special and appreciated. I... don't really care about going above and beyond at work anymore, I'm content where I'm at and have basically told my boss I'm not interested in moving into management. I want to play more games, and maybe make one of my own one day, just to be able to tell myself I did it.
TLDR: I'd like to leave the world a better place than I found it. Either through raising a kid who isn't a shithead, or making something that makes people smile, or by being there for my family and friends when they're in need. I think that's enough for me.
At that point I realized that maybe it was time to start the next chapter of my life. I started working out and dating to find someone to marry. After I got married we moved across the country for job opportunities and I started grinding at work again. Then we had a kid and all of my other priorities flew out the window. Kids have that effect on people.
These days I just want to raise my kid to be kind to others and responsible enough to take care of himself when he becomes an adult. I want to go on a nice vacations with my wife and make her feel special and appreciated. I... don't really care about going above and beyond at work anymore, I'm content where I'm at and have basically told my boss I'm not interested in moving into management. I want to play more games, and maybe make one of my own one day, just to be able to tell myself I did it.
TLDR: I'd like to leave the world a better place than I found it. Either through raising a kid who isn't a shithead, or making something that makes people smile, or by being there for my family and friends when they're in need. I think that's enough for me.
NikuNashi
Member
I think (at least in my experience) you are perhaps asking the wrong questions. I dont think there is some pre-designed purpose that you have to find. For me who is probably a lot older than you (40`s) there was never a clear purpose. Rather small stepping stones that all lead in a direction and occasionally along that path there were key moments (opportunities) that presented themselves and I took them.
If I was to give an advice it would be to take an opportunity when its presented to you, never miss one, timing is everything.
Regarding the purpose, I can only call that fullfillment, and mine came from working hard and succeeding, work is great because its an honest feeling of self respect and accomplishment. But as for what work you choose to do, thats based on your skill set, experience, likes dislikes. You have to find something that you enjoy and enjoy progressing and improving at everyday.
Took me 20 years of daily progress to reach the point I am at in life now, but everyday was rewarding because I could see small improvements. I was lost at times but I stuck at it and then when an opportunity presented itself I grabbed it with everything I had.
As others have said, reproducing and creating life is something so life changing its hard to explain in words, but if you are young then building yourself and finding that thing that you enjoy and can improve at and can bring you money is the most improtant thing.
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AeonGaidenRaiden
Member
Life has purpose for everyone, just in our different way. I dont think you are looking for purpose but what to do with your life. Ive had these thoughts a lot...did I make the right choice, should I have moved to a different country or not moved at all, should I have not wasted time studying what I did etc. Those thoughts make you feel stuck and happens to everyone and Im going through it again right now. I think one important thing, try to surround yourself with positive people, too much toxicity out there. Also try not to be a loner in this time, helps to have someone to talk to.
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I have a good job, wife and a son. However I have a very pessimistic outlook to the world. I think life is actually pointless. We're all drones that get jobs, preproduce, grow old and die.
I am intending to work hard for the next 20 years, pay off the mortgage, and subsequently semi retire and enjoy the rest of life by travelling etc. But I hope to die at 70. Couldn't give a shit about having a long life on earth.
I am intending to work hard for the next 20 years, pay off the mortgage, and subsequently semi retire and enjoy the rest of life by travelling etc. But I hope to die at 70. Couldn't give a shit about having a long life on earth.
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Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
I found mine in a trash can.
Tell us more.
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
It was in a trash can and then I found it.
OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
a baby?
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Reminds of a song.
My name is Leslie Anne Levine
My mother birthed me down a dry ravine
My mother birthed me far too soon
Born at nine and dead at noon
...
I've got no one left to mourn for me
My body lies inside its grave
In a ditch not far away
Fifteen years gone, I still wander this parapet
And shake my rattled bone
Fifteen years gone now, I still cling to the petticoat
Of the girl who died with me
SuperBabyMethod
Member
I’m not sure how what to say or how to approach this but I’ll leave a couple of things that come to mind:
One of the things I enjoy about being a teacher is working with the kids - getting to know them and forming relationships. Even though I know that I’m just a small chapter in their life and they will likely forget and move on and probably won’t even remember anything by the time they’re my age (early 30s), it’s nice to know that their experience with me was positive. Eventually they’ll grow up and do the same stupid shit as I’ve done but I hope that they don’t ever have to feel pressured to be something they are not or feel the need to do well in school in order to be a “success”.
I guess where I’m going with this goes 2 ways: find your purpose and do something that fulfills you and only you. That may seem generic and mundane that you’ve heard time and time again, but what else are you going to do - sit there and dwell about shit you never did and watch your life go by?
The second part for me concerns myself and having a desire to have a child of my own and watching them grow so they can live and survive without me. I think that will give me a lot of purpose in life, and something to look forward and strive to. I don’t want children anytime soon but I can imagine being a father one day - but I need a woman first to like me and want to have kids with me before any of that happens
One of the things I enjoy about being a teacher is working with the kids - getting to know them and forming relationships. Even though I know that I’m just a small chapter in their life and they will likely forget and move on and probably won’t even remember anything by the time they’re my age (early 30s), it’s nice to know that their experience with me was positive. Eventually they’ll grow up and do the same stupid shit as I’ve done but I hope that they don’t ever have to feel pressured to be something they are not or feel the need to do well in school in order to be a “success”.
I guess where I’m going with this goes 2 ways: find your purpose and do something that fulfills you and only you. That may seem generic and mundane that you’ve heard time and time again, but what else are you going to do - sit there and dwell about shit you never did and watch your life go by?
The second part for me concerns myself and having a desire to have a child of my own and watching them grow so they can live and survive without me. I think that will give me a lot of purpose in life, and something to look forward and strive to. I don’t want children anytime soon but I can imagine being a father one day - but I need a woman first to like me and want to have kids with me before any of that happens
Humdinger
Member
It's a tough question. I'm 61, and I've wrestled or pondered it for most of my life. It is not really just one question ("what is my purpose,") but rather a whole series of interconnected questions -- What should I do with my life? What kind of person do I want to be? What really matters? What do I want to spend my limited time and energy doing? What is a good use of my time? Where is meaning to be found? etc. They're all ways of asking the same thing, just from different angles.
I can't tell you what the answer is. I can tell you that it varies not just from person to person, but from time to time, from age to age. My answers to those questions at 61 is a lot different than my answers at 25 or 40.
I would also say that it's not just one thing. People often imagine that they have to come up with the "one right answer" to that question. In my experience, it doesn't work that way, at least not for most. We find meaning/value/purpose in many different things, and we cobble them all together to make a good life. For example, for me, I get meaning/purpose/value in a variety of ways -- caring for animals, devoting myself to learning and personal growth (intellectual, psychological/interpersonal, spiritual), cultivating friendship, enjoying nature, being kind or helpful to others, contributing to causes that matter to me, smacking down narcissists, taking care of myself, laughter, challenging myself to face fears, and doing occasional writing projects. I also have a loose spiritual belief system that helps orient me.
I try to spend time alone, reflecting on these issues. I think that's important. You have to get past the "clutter" of life (mental clutter, busyness, media clutter, social chatter), because you have to go deeper than just the surface. I find writing it out helpful. Writing helps me think things through. I also find reading and watching quality videos helpful.
I don't want to give you the impression that I've got it all figured out. I certainly don't. It's an ongoing process, and I get off track plenty. There have been many times when I've drifted aimlessly or backasswards. Honestly, I don't even think it's possible to have it all figured out, this side of the veil. There are some things we just cannot know. We steer by whatever light we can dimly perceive. It's like a flashlight with a weak battery. You can only see a foot in front of you. So the job is to take that step, and then the next.
I do believe that if you dedicate yourself to learning and being open in this area, the path gets clearer with time. It takes curiosity, introspection, courage, and perseverance.
I can't tell you what the answer is. I can tell you that it varies not just from person to person, but from time to time, from age to age. My answers to those questions at 61 is a lot different than my answers at 25 or 40.
I would also say that it's not just one thing. People often imagine that they have to come up with the "one right answer" to that question. In my experience, it doesn't work that way, at least not for most. We find meaning/value/purpose in many different things, and we cobble them all together to make a good life. For example, for me, I get meaning/purpose/value in a variety of ways -- caring for animals, devoting myself to learning and personal growth (intellectual, psychological/interpersonal, spiritual), cultivating friendship, enjoying nature, being kind or helpful to others, contributing to causes that matter to me, smacking down narcissists, taking care of myself, laughter, challenging myself to face fears, and doing occasional writing projects. I also have a loose spiritual belief system that helps orient me.
I try to spend time alone, reflecting on these issues. I think that's important. You have to get past the "clutter" of life (mental clutter, busyness, media clutter, social chatter), because you have to go deeper than just the surface. I find writing it out helpful. Writing helps me think things through. I also find reading and watching quality videos helpful.
I don't want to give you the impression that I've got it all figured out. I certainly don't. It's an ongoing process, and I get off track plenty. There have been many times when I've drifted aimlessly or backasswards. Honestly, I don't even think it's possible to have it all figured out, this side of the veil. There are some things we just cannot know. We steer by whatever light we can dimly perceive. It's like a flashlight with a weak battery. You can only see a foot in front of you. So the job is to take that step, and then the next.
I do believe that if you dedicate yourself to learning and being open in this area, the path gets clearer with time. It takes curiosity, introspection, courage, and perseverance.
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Bragr
Member
The rites of passage. It's a lost concept.
Life will destroy you if it can, and you must learn to be serious enough to handle that. Boy to a man, girl to a woman.
It's not a passage that happens naturally anymore, especially to men. Women have childbirth and motherhood that transforms them. We have hardship. But it's not normal to come across hardship serious enough to change. We don't live in the 30s anymore when people had to become a man at 15.
kurisu_1974
is on perm warning for being a low level troll
There is no purpose, the sooner you realize that the happier you'll be. My only goal is to not be too much of an asshole and to not have too much negative impact on our planet. I guess I'm a nihilist at heart.
PaddyOCanager
Member
If you aren't religious, the only real "purpose" of life is to begat more life. If you don't want to reproduce, enjoy the short time you have in the manner in which you choose and then die. Generally speaking, you should probably be good to others and strive to leave the world a better place than when you entered it. Humanity marches on. We learn this as children, but for some reason people get older, have an existential crisis and forget basic principles.
Religion gives alternative meaning to humanity's existence. Otherwise, you need to accept the cold reality of the situation: you're just the winner of an impossibly rare lottery ticket. It took 13.8 billion years for humans to show up, and in a million years there will likely be no physical evidence we were ever here. You get to be one of the lucky few.
Our struggle despite this seemingly inevitable fate is the grand secular narrative, and it's a good enough one. We crawled our way out of the primordial soup and are challenging the Abyss. Even though we'll likely lose, that wouldn't make it meaningless in my opinion. Most people have more than 6,000 thoughts per day - do you know them all? Did you know you even had them? Do they still count towards the complex narrative of your mind even if they're so casually discarded? Maybe we're just a thought as far as the universe is concerned, who knows.
Any way you want to slice it, when people ask this question it's not really about finding purpose - it's about them struggling to accept what life is and isn't.
Religion gives alternative meaning to humanity's existence. Otherwise, you need to accept the cold reality of the situation: you're just the winner of an impossibly rare lottery ticket. It took 13.8 billion years for humans to show up, and in a million years there will likely be no physical evidence we were ever here. You get to be one of the lucky few.
Our struggle despite this seemingly inevitable fate is the grand secular narrative, and it's a good enough one. We crawled our way out of the primordial soup and are challenging the Abyss. Even though we'll likely lose, that wouldn't make it meaningless in my opinion. Most people have more than 6,000 thoughts per day - do you know them all? Did you know you even had them? Do they still count towards the complex narrative of your mind even if they're so casually discarded? Maybe we're just a thought as far as the universe is concerned, who knows.
Any way you want to slice it, when people ask this question it's not really about finding purpose - it's about them struggling to accept what life is and isn't.
gaming_again
Member
I grew up thinking everybody else had a purpose and my unanchored feelings were unique. Now I wonder if anybody has ever really found a purpose in the whole of history.
Negotiator
Member
I took the red/orange pill... if you know what I mean.
German Hops
Member
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
I took the blue pill and now my erection won’t go away…. If you know what I mean.
Beastclaw Raider
Member
There is no meaning or purpose in life. Anyone trying to find one will always be unhappy
Beastclaw Raider
Member
Something I've once watched and resumes some of my thoughts about it.
Life's a bitch, just play it, get better while you can, die. There's nothing else to it
Life's a bitch, just play it, get better while you can, die. There's nothing else to it
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StreetsofBeige
Member
I just live life. Be a good person with fam and friends, get a job to make money to pay the bills. I do a job I like.
I've always wanted a businessy kind of a job, which was solidified in one of those high school career surveys we all filled out one day in English class. It was like 100 multiple choice questions. And two weeks later they send back the results and it showed I should basically look at an office job that does numbers and analysis. Sounds good enough to me. So thats what I did. The survey was right.
I've never cared about trying to find the meaning of life or anything like that.
I've always wanted a businessy kind of a job, which was solidified in one of those high school career surveys we all filled out one day in English class. It was like 100 multiple choice questions. And two weeks later they send back the results and it showed I should basically look at an office job that does numbers and analysis. Sounds good enough to me. So thats what I did. The survey was right.
I've never cared about trying to find the meaning of life or anything like that.
StreetsofBeige
Member
At it's most basic level, this is probably the right anwser.
At least that's what every other insect, animal or microscopic bacteria cares about. Pump out as many babies and replicate as much as possible. I dont think the typical raccoon cares if the world has 1000 raccoons or 1 trillion raccoons. Just keep pumping them out like a factory. And if every square inch of the Earth is covered with them, they dont give a shit.
As humans, we have feelings. And we have all kinds of shit to do without worrying about pure survival.
If I had to take a guess at life's meaning (for humans at least at this point of time), I'd say just live a happy life. And if you want to contribute to society too, be productive and get a job.
Beastclaw Raider
Member
This is both a blessing and a curse. Most anxiety, depressions and mental health problems derive from that statement. We have too much time in our hands, are too comfortable and secure.
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StreetsofBeige
Member
Unless someone has ultra low skills and can never get even a half decent job (you cant save if you simply dont have enough earning power), just about everyone else should be able to earn enough money to live a modest life.
Nobody even has to be a financial genius to save bucks.
Just track a monthly budget of expenses vs. monthly net income. Try to stay in the green. And put those savings into something that makes money (which is an entirely different topic). If someone is in the red, try to shave back costs where you can. If someone cant realistically save anymore money and is still in the red, there's an earnings issue (shit job) or some kind of overarching costs killing the budget.... CC and car loan debt, too big of a mortgage, tuition, medical care costs if someone is American etc...
I bet almost nobody does this. I do. I've been tracking it on Excel for over 15 years. You dont need fancy Quicken or H&R Block programs to do this. The same fucking excel sheet which originated as an Excel 97-2003 file used across 3-4 laptops.
And in my opinion, very very very few people are skilled enough to scrape back costs analyzing their expenses to what they really need.
I make decent money so I dont give a shit, but if someone asked me to immediately save some costs to prove a point, I know right now I could downgrade my internet package from a high tier to a shittier tier and save probably $30/mth alone. $360 right there.
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Northeastmonk
Member
My son was born with a very rare genetic disorder. Only 700 cases known throughout the world. He may not have a typical life ahead of himself. I didn’t find out about his condition until after I had a vasectomy. So here I am, not wanting anymore children, but with a kid who will probably never have children of his own. This was hard for my family. It makes you feel powerless, unable to do anything because of some small genetic mutation. Even if I had a billion dollars, it wouldn’t change it. It took a long time and a lot of reaching out to support groups to find some sorta middle ground to how to cope with such a diagnosis.
I went to father groups, spoke to other families, and traveled to seminars about his condition. All this time I have been asking myself: What’s the purpose to my life? Well, his happiness is important. He may never talk, but there’s ways for him to be happy. Knowing that he’s happy doing whatever makes him happy is a part of what makes me keep doing what I’m doing. Sure, it isn’t everything in life. Kids don’t want to be around you all the time and kids are super stressful. The main thing is that I make sure he is taken care of.
At times I don’t know what my purpose is beyond maintaining my family’s well being and making a living for myself. I love my career, but the reality sets in that someone else could do my job. It’s satisfying for a while, but that feeling eventually neutralizes itself. The honeymoon period wears off during marriage and you become your own person. My wife is great, but we are also two very different people. Which is part of life. It’s something I feel like a lot of couples go through. Where that ends up, I don’t exactly know. The thought of becoming middle aged is a fleeting one. My grandfather once said that, “the old people feel like they don’t have a purpose or a reason to live”. That’s something that bothers me and he said that years ago. He just turned 91. I try to stay positive, look on the bright side, and find ways to enjoy life. If that means I play games for an extra couple hours, go out for a meal, or treat myself some other way. I do it. Those things make me happy.
I’ve been to many different genetic disorder events. I’ve consulted with doctors in different states. It’s hard, but it’s not impossible. It makes you grow as a person. I never thought I would have had a life like this. Life is still enjoyable even with all this uncertainty. I make adjustments as they’re needed and I let myself have fun every now and then. Pondering the purpose to life is useless and it creates this awful depression that’s hard to get rid of. Life would be a lot harder if all I did was feel sorry for myself.
I went to father groups, spoke to other families, and traveled to seminars about his condition. All this time I have been asking myself: What’s the purpose to my life? Well, his happiness is important. He may never talk, but there’s ways for him to be happy. Knowing that he’s happy doing whatever makes him happy is a part of what makes me keep doing what I’m doing. Sure, it isn’t everything in life. Kids don’t want to be around you all the time and kids are super stressful. The main thing is that I make sure he is taken care of.
At times I don’t know what my purpose is beyond maintaining my family’s well being and making a living for myself. I love my career, but the reality sets in that someone else could do my job. It’s satisfying for a while, but that feeling eventually neutralizes itself. The honeymoon period wears off during marriage and you become your own person. My wife is great, but we are also two very different people. Which is part of life. It’s something I feel like a lot of couples go through. Where that ends up, I don’t exactly know. The thought of becoming middle aged is a fleeting one. My grandfather once said that, “the old people feel like they don’t have a purpose or a reason to live”. That’s something that bothers me and he said that years ago. He just turned 91. I try to stay positive, look on the bright side, and find ways to enjoy life. If that means I play games for an extra couple hours, go out for a meal, or treat myself some other way. I do it. Those things make me happy.
I’ve been to many different genetic disorder events. I’ve consulted with doctors in different states. It’s hard, but it’s not impossible. It makes you grow as a person. I never thought I would have had a life like this. Life is still enjoyable even with all this uncertainty. I make adjustments as they’re needed and I let myself have fun every now and then. Pondering the purpose to life is useless and it creates this awful depression that’s hard to get rid of. Life would be a lot harder if all I did was feel sorry for myself.
German Hops
Member
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