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oh no I think Tom Cruise tried to rape Oprah

B

bishoptl

Banstick Emeritus
tom-oprah-grimace.jpg

"Gonna get me some of that dark sugary tang!"

tom-oprah-wrestle.jpg

tom-oprah-fight3.jpg

"Get over here!"

tom-oprah-jump.jpg

"That was great, but I'm not satisfied! Who will sate my jungle lust? WHO WANTS TO SEX CRUISE??"

tom-oprah-deathlock.jpg

"How 'bout you? Want some of this prime Hollywood AAA-grade sweet meat?"

tom-oprah-knee.jpg

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
 
L

Loki

Count of Concision
Yeah, my friend said that he was going NUTS on Oprah the other day. She said he was acting like he had ADHD; supposedly he couldn't stop running around, shouting etc., particularly about how infatuated he is with Katie Holmes. Weird-- he's always seemed pretty composed in interviews.
 
S

sc0la

Unconfirmed Member
the whole interview seemed forced and calculated. IM IN LOVE!!11 oh shes backstage lets get her.

Less akward but as scripted as the Michael Jackson/Lisa Marie kiss, imo.

the most genuine part of the whole thing was the plug for war of the worlds
 
K

kgHavok23

Member
:lol did anyone see the "Hologram of Tom Cruise on Opera" as one of Conan's "Rejected Star Wars Characters" last night?? :lol
 
R

ronito

Member
scola said:
the whole interview seemed forced and calculated. IM IN LOVE!!11 oh shes backstage lets get her.

Less akward but as scripted as the Michael Jackson/Lisa Marie kiss, imo.

the most genuine part of the whole thing was the plug for war of the worlds
Click to expand...

I can't believe you actually have an opinion about this. :D
 
S

sc0la

Unconfirmed Member
ronito said:
I can't believe you actually have an opinion about this. :D
Click to expand...
Well, I had the displeasure of watching it, and generally one forms opinions about things they see.
 
B

bishoptl

Banstick Emeritus
Well, Collateral didn't do that well at the box office for a Cruise flick, despite its acclaim. In fact, his last few movies have done less than expected numbers, so he needs to get people talking about him - and by extension, War of the Worlds.

So the new formula, to wit:

1. Fire Pat Kingsley, longtime publicist
2. Hire sister to rep him instead
3. Profess love for Katie Holmes in some crazy PR relationship stunt that nobody believes
4. Act like a flaming nutcase and attack Oprah on international television
5. ??????
6. Box office GOLD
 
S

sc0la

Unconfirmed Member
bishoptl said:
Well, Collateral didn't do that well at the box office for a Cruise flick, despite its acclaim. In fact, his last few movies have done less than expected numbers, so he needs to get people talking about him - and by extension, War of the Worlds.

So the new formula, to wit:

1. Fire Pat Kingsley, longtime publicist
2. Hire sister to rep him instead
3. Profess love for Katie Holmes in some crazy PR relationship stunt that nobody believes
4. Act like a flaming nutcase and attack Oprah on international television
5. ??????
6. Box office GOLD
Click to expand...

I thought it was

1. Katie Holmes
2. Appear on Oprah
3. Dark sugary tang
4.?????
5. Profit
 
B

bishoptl

Banstick Emeritus
GOIN' BATSHIT LOONY! SEE WAR OF THE WORLDS! THE POWER OF L RON HUBBARD COMPELS YOU!

tom-oprah-ecstasy.jpg


BWAHAHAHAHA

tom-oprah-deathlock2.jpg


"Watch my movie or I'll fucking kill her right here, I swear!"
 
M

Maxwell House

Member
I just saw an interview with Cruise talking about Scientology on E News and jesus christ, he acted fucking manic, just like he did on Oprah. Has Scientology made him completely snap?

One thing is for sure, he is definitely on a vandetta right now to spread the gospel of Scientology. Katie Holmes was seen going into a Scientology center recently too. Seems Cruise has a new recruit.
 
T

themadcowtipper

Smells faintly of rancid stilton.
The better question is why the hell were you watching Oprah...First your obsession, with fat chicks now Oprah, not even fat Oprah at that.....
 
D

Dan

No longer boycotting the Wolfenstein franchise
tom-oprah-deathlock2.jpg


Her facial expression and body language couldn't possibly be giving off more contradictory signals. She's scared for her life but trying her best to smile and laugh. Get out while you still can!
 
J

jett

D-Member
kgHavok23 said:
so is he like....the new villain in the Batman movie? :/
Click to expand...

:lol After seeing these pictures I think he could TOTALLY pull off the Joker or any other psychothic motherfucker. Jeez scientology has made him insane.
 
B

bishoptl

Banstick Emeritus
tom-oprah-exalting.jpg

"I'm gonna doggystyle my girl in front of all you soccer moms! 'Cuz I'm TOM FUCKING CRUISE!"

tom-oprah-deathlock.jpg

"Told you I wasn't packing socks in 'Magnolia'! Ten inches of Cruise missile up in heah! Unnrrgh!"
 
M

Maxwell House

Member
I wonder if Scientology has gay photo blackmail on Tom Cruise. Those have been the rumors on the Cruise-Scientology connection for years.
 
M

Mugen

Banned
Is there a way to download this episode? I've never seen Tom Cruise completely losing it like this. :lol
 
P

pestul

Member
I had the displeasure of watching 75% of that segment with my fiancee.. he was going batshit fucking nuts. I couldn't bare to watch that retard. He kept spontaneously double-jumping up onto Oprah's leather couch at random like he was trying a boarding trick or something. Seriously it would just happen out of blue and it totally freaked me out. He was like holding Oprah's hand the entire episode and would also perform a ton of 'Tiger Woods' fist pumps..

Hold me. :/
 
S

Socreges

Banned
Y'know that feeling when other people embarrass themselves and you cringe? You don't even want to watch? I mean, you may not even like them, but it still hurts you somehow? I get that a lot. And right now I am genuinely scared to even watch that video of Cruise on Oprah. Seeing the screens is enough.

I saw Katie Holmes on ANOTHER magazine cover today and it struck me that this may be a huge publicity stunt. They're obviously 'orchestrating' this to have huge career gains for her as well.

Oh, and the captions are hilarious
 
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